17 Awkward Office-Bathroom Moments, As Told By Haiku

Because if you look hard enough, you can find poetry in even the most vile situations.

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My boss, is that you?I fear I cannot unhearyour explosive poop

There is a gapbetween the door and the wallYou can see me pee

I see your shoes, friendShould I stay and say hello?I just heard you fart

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In the turd showdown who will be the one to caveI will not leave first

Crunch, crunch, rip, ::lid swings::It’s clear to everyone herethat I’m on the rag

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A most jarring thought:The serial seat pee-ercould be my best friend

The attempt to holdin this super loud fart wasnot too successful

Oh crud, this stall stinksWill everyone think it’s me?I’ll exit, head high

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You keep talking, why?I am pee shy, still, and we’llbe here till sundown

Under the coverof darkness I leave my logsThe poop bandit rides

I spot seat sprinklesDo I risk a UTIor change stalls swiftly

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There’s only us twoDon’t want you to hear me peebut you will not leave

Hello — our eyes meetin the mirror, via door gapThis is so awkward

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Peeing in peace when —“Heeey, I recognize your shoes”Are you kidding me

Do you think it’s coolNot to wash your dainty mitts?I heard no faucet

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There is no TPDo I use a seat coveror yell for a friend

Just me and youYou ran water while I peed,My bathroom angel

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With additional haiku help from Katie Notopoulos and Julia Pugachevsky.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/emmyf/awkward-office-bathroom-moments-haiku